So you know how when you are doing work and your ass tends to sweat? No one like that uncomfortable, questionable feeling of wondering if the hot, damp, cocktail of sweat and potential fecal remnants of a fart, or a potentially improperly executed wipe, is smoldering in your britches. So what’s to do? Maybe a manpon! You may be scratching your heads right about now asking, “what is a manpon?!?”… allow me to explain. A “manpon” is a, carefully crafted, asscrack sweat distribution device. It consists of simple parts, formed by tediously folding about 3 squares of several ply toilet tissue into an approximately 3/4 inch strip. It is then meticulously placed, and clenched, in between the asschecks to assure the user they will remain comfortably free of sweat and potential fecal matter.

Well TIFU by, in all description of what is considered user error, allowing my “grip”, as it were, to, unnoticably, be rendered inoperable. The ass tissue became dislodged and fell out of my pant leg. Later on, I heard a coworker casually, and with genuine curiosity, exclaim “Huh, what is that?…”. I immediately realized what it was and, without hesitation, calmly, picked it up, stating “must’ve fallen outta someone’s pocket. Guess I oughtta bust out the hand sani.. ?‍♀️”.

TL;DR A co-worker almost engaged my ass sweat tissue.